Ephesians 4:30-32
“30 And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
The Battle Lines
“It’s the conflict between good and evil.” That’s the way that most people would explain religion. Many think this is an eternal conflict. Most people think about Biblical religion this way: “It’s about the conflict between God and the devil.” You can see why. Beginning just after the creation (Genesis 1-3), the conflict begins. This war between God and the devil is on full display in Matthew chapter 4. There Jesus, the Son of God, was led by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness to be tested by the devil. Using the Scriptures, the Son of God won that battle in glorious fashion. And the conflict does not end until after the thousand year reign of Jesus Christ. Then the devil will be cast into the lake of fire to be tormented forever (Revelation 20:6-10).
But what about today? What about right now? How are we to be good soldiers in God’s army – in this battle between God and the devil? Is this conflict real to us right now? Or do we pretend that this conflict is make believe?
Later in this same book (Ephesians 6:10), we learn that this conflict on earth today is very real; we are wrestling against wicked spirits in high places. But how can we do this? Where do we learn practical tactics for battle? Who will win today? Who will win tomorrow and the day after that? It is with this understanding that we come to Ephesians 4 and see it in a new light. It describes the conflict between the Holy Spirit and the devil.
In Ephesians 4:26-27, sinful anger that is let go day after day “gives place to the devil.” In Ephesians 4:30, wicked speech grieves the Holy Spirit. So today’s passage gives commands to God’s wrestlers – Christian soldiers in whom the Spirit of God resides. Will you re-enlist today, following the commands of the Holy One? Or will you give place to the devil? In an illuminating description of spiritual warfare, Jesus said, “When a strong man armed keepeth his palace, his goods are in peace: But when a stronger than he shall come upon him, and overcome him, he taketh from him all his armor wherein he trusted, and divideth his spoils. He that is not with me is against me: and he that gathereth not with me scattereth.” (Luke 11:21-23)
Do Not Grieve the Holy Spirit
“30 And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.”
Verse 30 contains a command that every Christian soldier must obey: don’t grieve the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the Third Person of the Godhead; He is an eternally existing Person who has a mind (Romans 8:27), a will (Acts 13:2), and emotions (Ephesians 4:30). Grieving the Spirit is a dangerous problem in the Scriptures. In Isaiah 63:10-12, when the people of Israel grieved the Spirit, He became their enemy. But when they were led by the Spirit in the midst of them He delivered them (as in the exodus from Egypt). Grieving Him is especially troubling, because the Holy Spirit is called “The Comforter” and “The Spirit of Truth” (John 15:26).
The Importance of the Holy Spirit in the Book of Ephesians
Grieving the Holy Spirit is a serious issue in Ephesians. He is the Spirit of reconciliation and peace. By Him, we have access to the Father (Ephesians 2:18). He brings us together in constructive unity (Ephesians 2:22) as a temple, a dwelling place of God by the Spirit. So, the Scripture commands that you and I be “Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling” (Ephesians 4:3-4).
In Ephesians 4:30, we learn that the Holy Spirit is the One who seals believers until the Day of Redemption. Study this in Ephesians 1:13-14. He is the guarantee of your eternal inheritance until that Day when you take possession of it, to the praise of His glory. Why would we want to grieve the Spirit who gives us eternal security with His sealing work? Why would we want to grieve the One who is giving us personal guarantees about God’s promises? He is the One who has designed to give you a sense of your eternal security. Why would you want to hurt the Holy One?
How to Apply God’s Command
Earlier in this chapter (Ephesians 4:22-24) we can read about three important steps in following “the truth that is in Jesus.” These are to put off, to renew, and to put on. So, what should we do to avoid grieving the Holy Spirit? 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:” The expression “Let . . . be put away from you . . .” is helpful to us. It is a passive command (like the command in Ephesians 5:18 “be being filled with the Spirit”). This is the point: if you are a true child of God, let this happen; don’t stand in the way of this. The Spirit who indwells you has fastened you in to face the storms ahead. He is the Spirit of reconciliation, unity and peace. To grieve Him is like trying to unfasten what the Spirit has fastened. So “the passive command” to us is to let the Spirit take charge. Don’t keep grasping what He calls garbage. Don’t hold precious what He calls poison. Don’t insist that dangerous sins are just part of who you are.
Let Them Go
Let them go. Let bitterness – that sharp, intense feeling of resentment or even hatred be gone by the Spirit’s power. Allow wrath – that rage, and anger, that bad temper – be taken away from you by the Spirit’s work of peace. Permit the Spirit to quell that clamor – the yelling and those harsh words. Don’t grieve the Spirit by speaking in an evil manner – let Him take away all your defamation, slander and abusive speech. Let the Spirit move you away from malice – the ill will and evil feelings. The Lord has promised you (1 John 1:9) that if you will confess your sin, He will cleanse you from all unrighteousness. “Let” these things “be put away from you” by the work of the Spirit. Galatians 5:16 can help turn the light on for us: “Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” Walk away from these sins by walking with the Spirit.
Be Kind One to Another
“32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
In verse 32, the command is “be ye kind one to another.” We are commanded to do this, even when we don’t feel like it. Even when we feel like doing evil or screaming at someone (1 Peter 3:9), the command is still in force: “be kind one to another.” How can we go about doing this? The word translated as “tender-hearted” is from the word where we get our English word, “spleen.” The idea is that we are to obey the command for kindness with feeling – with heartfelt sincerity.
But what about when problems come up? What should happen when that person sins against us – or at least we perceive that they have? The answer is that we should be “forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
- This is an attitude of being ready to forgive.
Even in His agonies on the cross, Jesus expressed an attitude of forgiveness with the words, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Being willing to forgive is half the battle. But what if the other person has not confessed or repented? The attitude of forgiveness will still help you to be like Jesus.
- This is actual forgiveness when the offender confesses his or her sin.
“Forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” If we have experienced the Father’s forgiveness, we will forgive others. Has someone loved you enough to tell you the truth on this point? If you are unwilling to forgive, there is a very real danger that you are lost: you have never experienced God’s forgiveness. If you truly know the experience of “God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you” then you will forgive others.
Has your heart been transformed by His tenderness toward you?
Has your heart been transformed by His tenderness toward you?
Consider what Jesus said about the servant who was unwilling to forgive in Matthew 18:32-35: “Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.”
One commentator wrote, “Frighteningly, many in Christian circles today seem in danger of this judgment because they refuse to forgive fellow believers, speak kindly to them, cooperate with them, or accept their apologies. Counselors often discover that a client’s unwillingness to forgive someone lies deep at the heart of all kinds of personal problems. Jesus declares that if people die without having resolved such problems, they may exclude themselves from eternal life with him.”[i]
Jesus said, “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy” (Matthew 5:7). In Matthew 6:15, He declared, “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
If “God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you,” His forgiveness transforms your heart into a tender heart. Has your heart been transformed by His tenderness toward you?
The Battle in You
The great battle described in the Bible is now going on in every believer. Who will win? Will you give place to the devil? Or will you allow the Spirit to be victorious in you? Bitterness, wrath, anger, evil speech, yelling and hatred give place to the devil. Don’t let him win the war in you. Follow these commands: don’t grieve the Spirit! Forgive others as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.
Concluding Notes about Forgiveness
One of the best books that I’ve read on this subject is available in our church bookstore. It’s entitled “Unpacking Forgiveness”[ii] by Chris Braun.
Consider the following True/False questions from the book as you think about the matter of forgiveness.
True or False?
Personal happiness and joy can legitimately motivate people to live out what the Bible teaches about forgiveness.
Most Christian pastors and counselors agree about what forgiveness is and how it should take place.
Forgiveness occurs properly only when certain conditions are met.
Jesus said little about how people should resolve interpersonal conflicts.
A willingness to forgive is a test of whether or not a person will go to heaven when he or she dies.
Good people get to the bottom of all their disagreements.
There are times when it is wrong to forgive.
Pastor Gordon Dickson, Calvary Baptist Church, Findlay, Ohio
FOOTNOTES
[i] “Dualism” in philosophy and theology is the belief that two equal, eternal divine beings or principles are (and will always be) at war with each other. An example would be the “yin yang” in Chinese philosophy.
[ii] These three are infinitives that can be construed as commands. The real point seems to be that following the truth that is in Jesus will naturally lead to participating in all three of these aspects – to put off the old man, to be renewed in our thinking, and to put on the new man (Christlikeness).
[iii] Craig Blomberg, Matthew, vol. 22, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1992), 285.
[iv] Chris Braun, Unpacking Forgiveness, Wheaton: Crossway Books, 2008. pp. 13-14